Liz Pardue Schultz doesn’t want you to be “angry” with what she has to say. That’s why the first sentence in her totally calculated to rile you up essay entitled, “Being a Stay-at-Home Mother Is Not a Job” is, “Alright, calm down.”
Pardue Schultz first shared her story earlier this month in aptly named the “Unpopular Opinion” section of XOJane, but since appearing this weekend in Time, it’s taken on off as the latest and loudest shot fired in the mom wars. In it, she explains that she was a stay-at-home mother herself for five years, and that “I understand a stay-at-homer wanting to validate her or his life choice by calling it a ‘job.’ We get a lot of grief from academics and professionals, and we’re very often belittled by our society for not contributing anything ‘valuable.’” But, she continues, “Getting to do nothing but raise a person you opted to bring into the world is a privilege, and calling it anything else is ignorant and condescending.” Bam!
Pardue Schultz goes on to tell her own tale of how she came to stay-at-home motherhood, a decision made after she’d initially reentered the workforce as a freelancer, and how she and her spouse ultimately made a choice that was not easy financially, but felt satisfying emotionally. But then, she says, she quickly surmised she didn’t quite fit with other members of her crowd. “I tried joining mommy groups and was constantly astounded by how many women reveled in bemoaning our apparently torturous conditions,” she says, explaining, “The negativity that comes behind SAHMs’ unabashed martyrdom is belittling to the entire parenting community.” She criticizes “the unemployed, self-righteous idiots who love to proclaim it after spending all their energy harping on their children or bitching about their spouse’s ineptitude” and says that “choosing to create your own little person upon whom you’ll spend all your time and energy” is not a “job” but “a hobby.” She concludes, “The people out there who actually have jobs will appreciate you much more if you’re not going around whining about a way of life that is most parents’ dream.” Aaaaaaand, 1,400 comments and counting.
Amy Richards: Embracing Motherhood & Feminism. PlayClick to Play. Mila Kunis Talks Motherhood … Diet fads are destroying us: Paleo, gluten-free and the lies we tell ourselves Michael Schulson, Religion Dispatches. “Letterman” head writer Merrill …